This Mother’s Day, many moms will hear a familiar phrase: “Thank you for doing the most important job in the world.”

As a mother of two kids, I appreciate the sentiment. Plus, it’s nice to have a day that celebrates moms, especially when so much of our labor feels invisible.

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Raising kids is hard work. And, dads, you have been stepping up more than ever. You are more involved and spend more time with your kids than in previous decades. And you are now as likely as moms to view parenting as central to your identity.

And while there’s been a lot of attention on how hard the pandemic has been for moms, dads have also been carrying a heavier load during the pandemic—and it hasn’t been easy on you either.

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This Mother’s Day, there are a few Mother’s Day sentiments that I can really do without. I don’t really need to hear about “the joy of parenting” or how I should “cherish every moment” or how moms are “selfless superheroes.”

While these might sound like nice ways to honor moms on Mother’s Day, there’s actually a darker side to them: these same “positive” sentiments about moms can also be used to justify neglecting them, leaving them to fend for themselves in the messy maze known as parenting.

In business, this is known as passion exploitation. As researchers Jae Yun Kim and colleagues found, people are more likely to say that it’s okay to exploit someone at work if they’re passionate about their job, in part because people expected the work to be “its own reward” for passionate workers.

Sound familiar, moms?

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